


Crushed

by VJuniorVasquez



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26930314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VJuniorVasquez/pseuds/VJuniorVasquez
Summary: Ash reflects on his complicated feelings for his new friend.Hisextremely cutenew friend...
Relationships: Gou | Goh/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Comments: 13
Kudos: 169





	Crushed

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to ShuujiChan's on Twitter! Hope you like it!  
> Enjoy everyone!

Goh let out a long yawn and immediately covered his face, apologizing

“I’m sorry Ash; I didn’t mean to be rude”

The trainer smiled at him and kept eating his dinner

“Don’t worry” he commented between bites “It’s been a long day, you must be exhausted”

“I am… I really wanted to catch that Zapdos though…”

“I’m sure you’ll have another chance” Ash replied quickly

And for a moment, he started to think why did he say that, why he was supportive of Goh, his newest friend? Sure, he was his companion, as many others had been throughout the years and his goal seemed unique and even a bit impossible, how he was going to manage to catch every single species of Pokemon? He really had no idea but he was sure he wanted to be there for each catch.

Again, that didn’t make any sense, Ash was sure that eventually, he had to say goodbye to Goh his paths were going to drift apart from each other at some point and then it would the time for farewell, just like every other region he traveled through before.

And that presented another problem and another mysterious and unique thought in Ash’s mind: He didn’t want this to end, the adventure, the researches, the support of the team at the Institute and the fun he had taking care not only of his Pokemon but of Goh’s friends. None of that had to end if he didn’t want to, right? They could travel around the world for eternity, catching and investigating until the end of times, walking along a thousand paths to infinity…

He wanted forever, with Goh and no one else with his handshakes, his hugs his smiles and his…

Blushes.

Those rosy cheeks of him, lighting up at the smallest compliment, sparkling with joy every time he was around him, could he be the reason for such a reaction? Could Goh feel something else for him beyond a simple friendship? Was Goh feeling the same as every single one of his past companions?

Well, not every single one maybe, not Bonnie and Max, of course (that would be extremely weird) although the little blonde girl from Lumiose City always said behind his back he was dense as a brick wall.

He heard her words every single time and still, decided to remain silent, first because he wasn’t an idiot, he could sense other people’s feelings, who would be so stupid to not notice such things?. And second of all, because at that point of his journey, he was pretty tired of people _falling in love_ with him.

Tracey and Brock were like brothers for him, and even if he knew they didn’t exactly loved him, there was some sort of pride for him hidden in their hearts, like the proud Burnet and Kukui showed for him on multiple occasions, or like the feelings a sibling could have for him, even though he had none in the first place.

Apart from them, if he wasn’t mistaken, May felt something for him, at least before she met Drew, and he was sure there was something special about the way Dawn always looked to touch his hand with a high-five.

Then they were Misty and Iris, always bickering with him, always complaining about some of his decisions, making fun of him in one way or the other, it was really annoying and still, Ash could swear there was a hidden meaning behind their actions, they definitely felt something for him.

Their friends at Alola were another case, their personalities were so different from each other that Ash wasn’t quite sure how they all felt about him, Sophocles considered every single idea coming out of him was crazy or idiotic, Lana was so hard to read that every single time he thought she was being serious she was actually making a joke, Mallow definitely looked at Lillie more than she looked at him, and even though the blonde girl spent a lot of time with him when he helped her to overcome her fear of Pokemon, he thought she was thankful of his help, but she really didn’t love him.

That left Kiawe and Ash preferred to not think too much about him, he was a friendly rival, but Ash would stay awake some nights, wishing he could be more than a friend, in time, that feeling passed away… Only to be replaced by the same feelings, for Lillie’s brother, that edgy, dark, mysterious boy, always pushing him far beyond his limits, forcing him to be stronger, better, more powerful… Still, none of those two boys was the reason for Ash’s “awakening”

Yeah, Ash was gay, he discovered that was the reason why he wasn’t attracted to any girls, sure, he could admit most of them were pretty and they dressed fine and looked good, but _feeling_ something for them? No, that thing never happened, with any of them.

His mind traced a few steps back, what was he thinking about? Right, his discovery about himself, which came to happen a few years back in Kalos when he met that young inventor named Clemont…

He considered him another one of his friends until one particular day, when he decided to cheer him up telling him how smart he was in his eyes, he passed an arm around his back and Clemont looked down, smiling and blushing at the same time; in that moment, he realized something.

His friend looked _cute_ when he was blushing.

So every once in a while he would praise him somehow, or take his hand, or hug him again, and he had to admit hugging Clemont not only felt nice, but it felt _right_ too. Still as time passed by, Ash noticed Clemont would not respond to his hug every single time, and his heart broke a little when he realized his friend was simply uncomfortable with the contact; there was embarrassment in his blushes, and nothing else.

It was probably a good thing, since something between them would never have worked, he liked Clemont, but the feelings weren’t reciprocal, then there was Bonnie, always looking for a girlfriend to his big brother, and then was Serena…

He froze as soon as she took the courage to kiss him, because to him, Serena was a good friend, nothing else, but still he didn’t want to hurt her as soon as they said goodbye, so he simply accepted her kiss, waved at her…

And then turned around, frowned, returned to Kanto and tried to avoid Kalos for as long as it was possible.

“Is everything okay, Ash?” a sweet voice said and the trainer came back to reality, Goh was looking at him with a mix of curiosity and concern

“Just remembering some things” Ash replied, sporting his best positive smile and his heart flipped with joy as soon as he saw Goh smiling back

The researcher had that thing; or rather a collection of things: he was smart as Clemont, determined as Gladion, fierce like Kiawe and probably cuter than all of them combined.

He would laugh at his jokes and accept his dumb theories, only to patiently explain to him, each and every time, how things worked; he would put a hand under his chin when he was thinking about something, and look away as soon as he noticed he was staring at him.

And Ash would stare at him, many times and the other boy wouldn’t complain, he wouldn’t say he was uncomfortable, he would smile and stare back at him

He would feel a shock every time the researcher took his hands, pushing him to one point to the other, in all his years of travelling, Ash would always lead the way, always decided where to go next, but with Goh? If Goh said ‘let’s go to the top of Mount Coronet’ he would follow him, as long as he would take his hand and dragged him along for the adventure.

His laugh was something extraordinary, out of this world, a sound he never heard before, something so unique, so fantastic, so… Goh-like, his eyes and above else, the way he _looked_ at things were so calm, so peaceful, like a bright Sunday morning, and those same eyes would transform in a raging storm in an instant, only if someone was in danger or if a catch was proven to be too difficult for him.

“Good Night Ash” Goh said, smiling for the umpteenth time that day, and the trainer wondered how the hell he got to the bedroom, put on his pajamas and got ready to sleep with Pikachu at his side, all of that while thinking about that boy

“Good Night Goh” he replied, watching him carefully climb all the way to his bunk

“Good Night Ash” he repeated, he always had to have the last word, always had to win him over one way or the other

The trainer from Pallet Town wasn’t complaining though, he not only liked the sound of Goh’s voice, he also _loved_ the way he said his name. Playfully, angrily, with concern, with kindness and with something that felt quite much like…

He couldn’t hope Goh felt that way about him, after all, he was his first friend, or at least, the first that never betrayed him in any way, Goh appreciated him for who he was, but that was the problem, he was only a friend to him

“Why won’t you fall in love with me?” the trainer screamed inside his head, why he had to be so cute, and awesome, and impressive? Why did he capture his heart with only a smile?

Well, not only a smile, he had to run off a cliff, jump into the back of a Lugia, shake his hand, accept him as a friend, hold his breath under the ocean for an extremely long time and then fall at his side in the middle of a flower field.

That’s when he noticed how cute he was, how bright his smile looked, how melodic his laughter sounded

Back then he said

“Do you know which way the Institute is?”

He meant

_“I’d follow you ‘til the end of the earth”_

“Hold on!” he shouted a few days later, extending his hand towards him to help him climb the building to see that group of Ivysaur…

 _“Please never let go”_ he’d liked to say

“Good job, Goh!” he shouted after he managed to catch Scyther

 _“I’m so proud of you”_ he should’ve added

There was something beautiful about seeing a rainbow after the storm passed, but Ash remained silent, he and Goh weren’t alone and besides, he could see how disappointed his friend was of not seeing Ho-Oh

When he rushed to the park and finally saw Goh waiting for him, he shouted his name and his crush replied back, he explained to him about Cubone’s lost bone and Ash listened attentively, deciding to help him immediately.

 _“I don’t want to be away from you, even if it is for just one day”_ the only reason why he didn’t say that was because Goh’s parents were there, too

He would liked to slap the hell out of his crush when he decided to abandon Raboot… and then smooch him to death as soon as he saw how happy he looked with his Pokemon struggling to get away from his arms.

He was sure one or two things escaped from his mouth when he had the Slowking Crown on and when Goh said he should forget about the incident, he silently thanked him…

He did the same when he helped him figure out where Pikachu and Mr. Mime ran away to…

And when he was there to support him after he lost his battle against Bea…

And his feelings became unbearable when he saw him using his own unpredictable tactic to defeat and catch Flygon, smiling at him, reassuring him, telling him everything was going to be all right, just when the sandstorm started to fade away and the sun appeared behind him, like inviting him to confess, to tell that cute boy something, _anything_

Instead, he stayed silent and lay back in the sand…

Just like he was doing now, lying in his bed, unable to sleep, thinking for the umpteenth time about the Vermillion City researcher, again he wasn’t complaining, he just wished Goh would do the same for him.

A rustling sound above interrupted his thoughts and Goh’s head popped from the side of his bed, once more with that weird mixture of curiosity and concern in his face.

“Is everything okay down there?”

“I just can’t sleep” Ash whispered

“You want me to sing you a lullaby?”

Ash knew he was joking, he could see it in the way he chuckled after saying that, but confessing that he really wanted to hear him singing would be weird, right?

He was Goh’s first true friend, dammit! As much as he _loved_ him, he couldn’t say anything else, or he could ruin their friendship forever, breaking his heart in the process.

Still, for once, he didn’t want to stay silent and unmoving…

“Everythng's fine, go back to sleep Goh” he commented, moving a hand out of the covers and lightly slapping the boy in the cheek, giving him his best reassuring smile at the same time.

Goh laughed, that was better than any lullaby

“Good Night Ash”

“Good Night Goh”

“Good Night Ash”

The trainer didn’t reply again and extended a hand towards the top of his bunk, touching the wood and wishing him and his crush weren’t separated or at least, that his sweet boy would say, at some point, that he wanted to be _closer_ to him…

Unbeknownst to him, Goh was laying with his face against the pillow, blushing madly, there were so many things he wanted to say to his best friend, mostly, that he wanted him to be more than a friend.

He pressed a hand against the mattress, wondering if he could get it through it like a ghost type Pokemon and take the other boy’s hand, he hated to be away from him, even if it was for just a few centimeters

“Why do you have to be so perfect, Ash Ketchum?” he muttered, getting sleepy…

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working on something, BTW. Can't say what it is yet...  
> Comments? Down below please!  
> See you soon everyone!


End file.
